7 Powerful Shifts to Reclaim Your Identity and Start Living as the Woman You Actually Choose to Be

You ever feel like you're living a life that you didn't actually choose? Like you're on autopilot in an identity that someone else programmed for you—your parents, school, society, that random ex-boyfriend who hated when you spoke your mind?

Yeah, we get it. And you're not alone.

On a recent episode of That’s Some Serious Shift, my co-host and I cracked open the reality of identity work—what it really means to stop shape-shifting into who others expect you to be and finally step into who you came here to become. Spoiler alert: It’s messy, magical, and entirely within reach. This is where mindset coaching, nervous system regulation, and subconscious reprogramming meet for a full-blown identity glow-up.

Here are 7 shifts you can start making right now to reclaim your identity and finally feel like the woman you were born to be:

1. Question Who You Were Taught to Be

That 'good girl' identity? Probably not your actual truth. Most women are living as versions of themselves they didn’t even consciously choose. Let that sink in. A huge part of mindset work is peeling back who you were trained to be so you can remember who you actually are.

2. Let Go of Others’ Opinions

Your power returns the moment you stop outsourcing your identity. Concerned about what others think? That’s one of the biggest identity cockblocks out there. Nervous system regulation helps you feel safe enough to let go of needing approval—and start following what feels aligned for you.

3. Recognise That Habits = Identity in Action

Your subconscious doesn’t follow goals—it follows identity. Who you think you are determines what you do every day. This is where subconscious reprogramming becomes your secret weapon: instead of forcing new habits, you become the woman who naturally does them.

4. Start with Micro Shifts (Not a Life Overhaul)

A new lipstick. A bolder outfit. A different walk to school. You don’t need to blow up your life to start shifting your identity. Small, conscious choices compound. Pick the part of your life that excites you most—beauty, business, relationships—and start there.

5. Anchor Into What Feels Like 'Home' During the Shift

Familiar routines regulate your nervous system while everything else transforms. When you’re in transition, keep a few grounding rituals on hand. Coffee rituals, nature walks, morning journaling—they’re the thread that keeps you connected to yourself while you evolve.

6. Stop Just 'Doing'—Start Being

You can have the same Monday every week and live it in a completely different way. It’s not about changing your to-do list—it’s about changing who you are while doing it. That’s the energetic difference between stuck and expansive.

7. Write the New Script

Grab a pen. You get to decide who you are now. Start with: "I’m the kind of woman who…" and let it flow. Your subconscious mind listens to repetition, imagery, and emotion. Speak her into existence.

💫 Bonus Tool: The 'Drop the Pressure' Audio

If you’re deep in an identity shift (or even just standing at the edge, peeking in), this is your reset button. This free audio series blends subconscious reprogramming with nervous system calming tools to help you actually breathe again—emotionally, mentally, physically.

👉 Click here to access the Drop the Pressure audio series for free.

You don’t need to keep shape-shifting to fit someone else’s story. Your new identity isn’t a costume. It’s the coming home.

And it starts now.

Want more like this? Follow me on Instagram @_nikkivoxx_ or tune into That’s Some Serious Shift for real talk on the mindset, nervous system and subconscious rewiring behind becoming her.